As the sun rose this morning, there was still a sense of darkness when I got out of bed – the days are drawing in for winter and the rain clouds covered up what sunlight there was. I felt pretty dreary myself too this morning, much like the weather – for some reason I didn’t seem to get any sleep last night at all (I probably did drop off for the odd 10 minutes here and there but I pretty much saw every hour). I don’t really know why either. I was becoming increasingly frustrated with myself the longer I laid there NOT asleep and then Noah would whine through the monitor (teething) and so I would listen to him – did he need me? Then snuggle back down to attempt to sleep again. Only to need the toilet 5 minutes later – I have always had a weak bladder (I blame my dad) so getting up in the night to go to the toilet is always the norm. In fact, when we moved house Andy and I switched sides of the bed (BIG CHANGE) just so I could be closest to the ensuite door. Anyway, since childbirth my bladder weakness seems to have worsened – I really should have followed advice and been more strict with those pelvic floor exercises – and so last night it felt like I was constantly needing a wee!!! So when morning came, I felt a sort of relief that the frustration was over but also a dread that I now had to get through a day on no sleep with a 7 month old *yawn*.
Needless to say, as soon as I opened Noah’s door this morning his face lit up like a Christmas tree (he is so expressive) and there was smiles all round. Suddenly I forgot how little sleep I had and picked him up to squeeze him tightly – I was now excited about another day just the two of us.
Breakfast sorted, (Noah’s staple breakfast is Oatibix, banana and warm whole milk followed by a bottle of warm formula milk) Bailey was pestering to go out for his walk – he is getting worse now he has learnt the routine, 1 minute past 8.30am and he is whining and scratching at the patio door to be let loose into the fields that surround our house – and today, despite the rain, I really needed the fresh air to wake me up. It was a pram walk this time – the weather always determines the pram or carrier. Noah was wrapped up as snug as a bug and I was too and off we went. As soon as I open our back gate, Bailey is gone – there’s no stopping him. We are fortunate that we are on the doorstep to the luxury of farmers fields and public walkways so it’s safe to just let him go (don’t worry I’m not a irresponsible dog owner) and it saves my arms from being pulled off too!!
Noah, like Bailey and I, loves his morning walks and so despite the rain he was smiling and as was I. Walking through fields in the morning forces you to stop, take time out and reflect on your day – maybe plan out in your head your next steps or just fill your mind with memories but either way, it’s great for the soul. Today’s walked involved me planning out Andy’s return from deployment on Friday. Things like; Where will I park? What’s Noah going to be in? Shall I go for breakfast? What will Noah wear? What am I going to wear? Where will we meet him off the ship? You know all the usual things that go through your head on your husbands return. Andy has been away for 9 weeks with his ship HMS Diamond. It was an unexpected deployment to say the least – his ship is currently on active service so has to be ready to deploy to anywhere within 5 days notice. Well, they were activated this time. So – it’s been pretty intense and communication hasn’t always been great but we got through it and now we are on the home straight.
I think that’s all for my ramblings of today. I am hoping that coffee, tea and Noah’s energy will get me through until the end.
x A x